Essence of Murdoc - coming soon!

Gorillaz

20 dic. 2022

Greetings, lost lambs. May the glow of the pink dawn shine upon you all. Yes, even you.

First off, wow. Just wow. I was HUMBLED to see so many millions* of you turn up to my virtual Mixology Masterclass the other night. Absolute pleasure to shed the pink robes, slip into some fine Italian tailoring and dazzle you all with my world class cocktail making skills. Vodka Murdini, anyone?! Maybe later, Murdoc… for now, the time for merriment is PAST. Put away your jiggers and repent! For I have tidings. Rollicking huge ones.

Namely, it seems that a certain short-sighted heretic now believes he is too good for the Last Cult, and has been flirting with the ‘other side’. As in, of the fence! Yeah, them lot next door. I even spotted him prancing about in BLUE ROBES, the same colour Moon Flower and her Forever Cult cronies wear. After everything I’ve done for him too!!! I think I know what’s going on. This is Stuart’s attempt at payback for the so-called ‘Paula Cracker incident’ (heavy sarcasm on those air quotes). Thinks he can steal Moon Flower cos I stole Paula. Mate, let it go. Ancient history. Besides, she seduced ME.

Anyway, get thee behind me 2D, this is but a distraction from our one true path. I come to you all today with news that Russel, my Seeker of Truth Watcher of Telly, has finally cracked it. Our great day of reckoning shall be… THE RUPTURE. And it’s officially nigh. I mean, what exactly ‘The Rupture’ is I’ve no chuffing idea. But Russ assures me it’s going to be banging.

Something else that’s going to be banging – our new album! Out in Feb and AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER NOW! Our latest in a long line of musical miracles, Cracker Island is available on CD, cassette or vinyl. Go forth, my lambs!

Which just leaves me to announce, as my festive treat to humanity, the new must-have GIFT this holiday season… Get ready to experience Essence of Murdoc, my signature fragrance. It’s triple-distilled from my own jacuzzi water, smells divine (top notes of citrus and mature cheese) and has miraculous curative powers guaranteed!**. Look out for it in all good perfumeries (and DIY stores) near you.

Top of the season,

Murdoc Niccals

Master Perfumer, Great Leader, Anointed Beacon, Supreme Overlord, Groundskeeper of the All-Seeing Garden, and He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Gazed-Upon of The Last Cult.

PS: Actual figures pending

PPS: Not actually guaranteed until safety certificate comes back from the lab.