Murdoc’s Christmas Message

Gorillaz

25 dic. 2022

Season’s bloody greetings, my snow-flecked lambs! Huddle close and bathe in the warmth of my engorged holiday heart. Tis I, your shepherd from on high, the star that burns the brightest, the wisest of wise men, Murdoc F Niccals. Wotcha!

As Planet Earth completes another inglorious lap, and the pink sun sets upon Year Zero of the Last Cult, I thought we’d do a little review of the annus. That’s ‘year’ in latin, btw. And what a year it’s been for our divine order! We began with just the three of us – four if you count 2D – and a mysterious, prophetic music video. Now, from those humble seedlings, we’ve bloomed into one of the biggest cults in Silver Lake LA, and therefore the world!

So many wondrous achievements, but I’ll just spool off the highlights… I smashed the world record for levitation LIVE on air. Literally on air. Remember that? Almost hit an A380 coming into LAX. Noodle compiled our Last Cult doctrine, setting out our V sacred rules and beliefs and all that claptrap. Russel watched a shit load of telly and got into a tizzy about the end of the world or something. And 2D launched the world’s most boring podcast.

What else… Gorillaz wrote their first cult-inspired concept album, out in February! I launched (well, am about to launch…) my first celebrity fragrance, Essence of Murdoc, coming soon to all good retailers and hardware stores – just in time for Christmas!

I bloody love Christmas, by the way. Don't be fooled by the Grinch-like quality of my skin. As I type this I’m relaxing in a jacuzzi full of hot eggnog and bobbing sprouts. Really getting into the spirit. Can’t say the same for the others, the real Grinches if you ask me. Russel’s catatonic by the telly, so I’ve wrapped him in tinsel and fairy lights (he might as well do something useful). Noodle’s hiding out in the library until it’s all over. As for that other fellow, he’s spending Christmas with that lot next door. Good riddance!

Anyway, forget him, let’s look to the future, cos next year promises to be even MORE AMAZING than this year! So much to look forward to: our new album Cracker Island, The Rupture (whatever that turns out to be), amongst countless other Murdoc-inspired miracles!

And so it just remains for me to say peace on earth, goodwill to all beings, and PRAISE BE TO GORILLAZ! Love ya.

Love me,

Murdoc Niccals

Master Perfumer, Great Leader, Anointed Beacon, Supreme Overlord, Lighter of the Lamps, Groundskeeper of the All-Seeing Garden, and He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Gazed-Upon of The Last Cult