Murdoc’s Merry Message of Joy and Hope etcetera!

Gorillaz

25 dic. 2023

Weeeell look who’s plummeted slightly sozzled down your chimney and crashed into your festive fireplace! Yes, tis I, Saint Niccals, delivering ye the greatest gift of all – myself! In the form of my heartwarming Christmas Day message, aka the REAL king’s speech. What a lovely surprise. Before this arrived you were probably having a dreadful time with the nearest and dearest (I know I am), so let me defibrillate your day with a jolt of Murdoc magic!

BTW, no, I did NOT use an AI to write this. No chance. I’ll prove it… 987alkhjflkajfq. I just wrote that with my face. Would an AI do that? Nope, cos AI’s don’t have faces, also they’re very boring and predictable. Apart from Cyborg Noodle who is dangerously unhinged due to that hole in her noggin, but other bots – very beige. No, this really is me, writing by candlelight, robed in a billowy dressing gown, festive cheer all about me; turkey on fire, tree riddled with vermin (Russ found it in a graveyard), chestnuts roasting in the George Foreman.

Right then, without further ado, 2023, let’s have a look at ya...

Twas a year of the Tormenta (that’s ‘storm’ in Spanish, also track 8 on my latest smash). Every kind of storm imaginable, inc loads of actual storms. A year when the Doomsday Clock moved to 90 seconds from midnight – a smidge ominous, but it’s not midnight yet! So there’s still hope. Not for our xmas turkey, alas, which Noodle has just put out with a fire extinguisher. But let’s focus on the positives – like my incredibly successful album Cracker Island. Wow. Really suffered for that one, you know. Mostly Stuart’s fault for dragging us into a cult-war, but TBF it did set up a terrific boss-battle finale for the Silent Running vid. And then Coachella! Ahh, the Gorillaz BFFs all together on one stage! (Plus one numpty who arrived late after falling asleep on the ferris wheel.)

Most important thing at the end of any year, ask yourself – what did you learn? I learned nothing. But what did YOU learn? Maybe that there’s no utopia. Maybe… this world is all we’ve got, so we’ll just have to make do and polish the turd. Oo that reminds me, I need to wrap 2D’s present.

MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL.

Your Rizz,